My Meditation Journey | Episode 2

I’m starting this blog series in an attempt to find my way to “chill” because yo gorl has almost no chill – only now instead of that being a personality trait it’s causing hormonal fluctuations that my body doesn’t know how to process anymore which then leads to me passing out … which is no bueno. I consider myself agnostic because I’m not sure there is/are a god/s, but I’m not going to tell you they can’t possibly exist either. I do however enjoy the idea of trying out different forms of meditation to see if any of them will work for me, which brings me to my latest adventure – using tarot cards as a point of focus for meditation. Let’s see what cards I pull today, shall we?

Major Arcana – Thought

Attention
Focus
Universal Law

I drew this card in the present position, so the jist that I’m getting is to just check in with my thoughts as they are, observe them as they are as a whole.

On Monday I decided I had to cut some very toxic people out of my life. (If you want to know more about that and why you can check out this video.) This was a decision I was struggling with for about 2 years. Now that I’ve actually done it, I feel a great sense of relief. The sense of foreboding I had about these people no longer really exist for me because in my mind they’re dead to me and can’t hurt me anymore.

This card is also about balance and being in tune with that balance. While I still have a ways to go for thinking with an “and” mentality instead of an “or” mentality, I’m really glad that I’ve really started to pick up on when that happens. For the past week I’ve made a conscious effort to work on many things at once instead of only doing one thing at a time. For instance, instead of only reading a book one day and watching videos another day and playing a game a different day, I’m trying to include little doses of all of those in one day. For most people I feel like the latter is completely normal, but for me, hyper-focusing on one task was previously all I really knew how to do. Challenging myself with doing multiple things in a day has also helped me identify my binary thinking patterns in order to rethink them.

This card was pulled from the Dreams of Gaia Tarot set by Ravynne Phelan – it’s sort of a hybrid oracle deck that I’ve really been enjoying. The accompanying book for this set really makes sense to my brain.

King of Pentacles

I also had a friend draw a tarot card for me today. This card comes from the deck The Key Tarot by Scarlet Ravenswood and Jamie Gold – thanks to my BFF and cousin-in-law extraordinaire, Dillon.

Wealth (not only financial)
Security
Wisdom

The general gist I’m getting from this card is that I’ve worked hard over a period of time to achieve security and wealth (which in this case I’m counting as riches in mental wellbeing). It reaffirms that I’ve made the right decision in yeeting toxic people out of my life, and that I should celebrate the fact that I’ve worked so hard to create the mental stability I now have for myself. And gosh darn it I’m not going to let those toxic people take it away from me again.