I’m starting this blog series in an attempt to find my way to “chill” because yo gorl has almost no chill – only now instead of that being a personality trait it’s causing hormonal fluctuations that my body doesn’t know how to process anymore which then leads to me passing out … which is no bueno. I consider myself agnostic because I’m not sure there is/are a god/s, but I’m not going to tell you they can’t possibly exist either. I do however enjoy the idea of trying out different forms of meditation to see if any of them will work for me, which brings me to my latest adventure – using tarot cards as a point of focus for meditation. Let’s see what cards I pull today, shall we?
Today I’m just pulling a single card without asking anything again. Now my mental and physical health are both kinda bad. On the plus side I somehow managed to haul a 90lb/41kg box into my house, unpack it, and build the stationary recumbent bike by myself. On the downside I’m now paying for lifting well above my usual weight capacity days later. Yayyyyyyyy. Also, sometimes I use Inverted and Reversed interchangeably — it there’s an actual difference in tarot terminology please let me know via the comments.
Eight of Air – Inverted
I’m going to take this as an encouraging reminder to continue some form of journaling (like this) and as a prompt to stop reliving my past. I have a tendency to dwell on the past a good bit — especially if I viewed what happened as rather dramatic. Like I said in my last post, I’m still in the process of essentially grieving the loss of my parents. They’re not dead, but they have to be dead to me unless they decide they want to make a significant change in how they treat me. I’m still incredibly angry about it and find myself asking, “Why did they make this choice?” and “Why did they choose to treat me that way?”. I really need to stop living in the past and move on. I suspect the grieving process will still take a while longer. I’m scheduled to talk to my therapist about it on Friday since we didn’t have enough time to unpack that last week. Maybe with both tarot guided meditations and therapy I’ll speed up the process or at least acknowledge my feelings and observe whatever process I need to go through to heal.
This card was pulled from Ravynne Phelan’s Dreams of Gaia Tarot set which comes with its own guide book since it’s a bit of a cross between a standard and oracle deck.