I’m starting this blog series in an attempt to find my way to “chill” because yo gorl has almost no chill – only now instead of that being a personality trait it’s causing hormonal fluctuations that my body doesn’t know how to process anymore which then leads to me passing out … which is no bueno. I consider myself agnostic because I’m not sure there is/are a god/s, but I’m not going to tell you they can’t possibly exist either. I do however enjoy the idea of trying out different forms of meditation to see if any of them will work for me, which brings me to my latest adventure – using tarot cards as a point of focus for meditation. Let’s see what cards I pull today, shall we?
I feel better than yesterday, but I’m still really struggling to stay motivated. I wasn’t sure if I should do a large spread or a single card today, so I asked my friend what to do. My friend asked me if I could pick something randomly — to which I said I could make a chart and roll a D4 (four sided die), and here we are.
1 – guide spread
2- union spread
3 – dreamer’s spread
4 – dreaming tree spread
*rolls die* That would be a 2, union spread it is.
The Focus/Aspect – Four of Earth
I’m not to give up even if “weariness dogs [my] every move”, eh? Sounds about right. Moving through life lately has felt like wading through peanut butter — it’s doable, but it’s painfully slow. Compared to about this time last year I have definitely come a long way. I rarely have to break out the rollator any more, I’m able to do some amount of exercise every day, and my mental health is a lot healthier than it used to be. I still have a ways to go to meet my goals, but just because I haven’t met them yet doesn’t mean I haven’t made a load of progress in the meanwhile.
The Soul – The Child
“Believing anything is possible if you are willing to try,” yeah, I mean, kind of? I have a tendency to be a bit cynical about it with emo levels of angst that accompany that optimism. I’m skeptical, but I do it anyways because that’s what a chunk of data suggests will work.
Let Two Become One – Eleven of Earth/Heaven
Ooooo this is interesting; I do have a tendency to struggle with thinking things are separate when they’re interrelated. This card also prompts the reader to remain mindful of the intentions we set with everything we do, turning the mundane into the magical.
Sometimes when I am tired I do things just to get them done instead of being mindful of what I’m doing. This often leads me to thinking “I haven’t done anything” or “what I’ve done isn’t ‘enough'”. What I need to remember is that every little step I take is magical – to mindfully step forward while in pain – that itself is a great accomplishment to be celebrated.
This card was pulled from Ravynne Phelan’s Dreams of Gaia Tarot set which comes with its own guide book since it’s a bit of a cross between a standard and oracle deck.