I’m starting this blog series in an attempt to find my way to “chill” because yo gorl has almost no chill – only now instead of that being a personality trait it’s causing hormonal fluctuations that my body doesn’t know how to process anymore which then leads to me passing out … which is no bueno. I consider myself agnostic because I’m not sure there is/are a god/s, but I’m not going to tell you they can’t possibly exist either. I do however enjoy the idea of trying out different forms of meditation to see if any of them will work for me, which brings me to my latest adventure – using tarot cards as a point of focus for meditation. Let’s see what cards I pull today, shall we?
I’m still very much on the “can’t even” train. Let me off of this thing.
Eleven – Healing
I find it amusing that I’ve pulled this card while having the early stages of what feels like one of my migraines. This card prompts us to look within ourselves and try to work with what’s going on instead of against what’s going on. Sometimes I forget, or at least try to forget, that I live in a disabled body. I want to do normal things normal ways because that’s what I used to do. I think I should just be able to get up and achieve my goals, but the goals I’ve been setting are unrealistic and then I get mad that I can’t do them. I still need to learn how to roll with the changes that happen from day to day and scale to what my abilities are in the moment. I get stuck living in the past thinking about what I should be able to do because I used to be able to instead of living in the now and trying to be satisfied with what my abilities are now. I’ve just barely been enduring because I keep striving for what I was and not what I am. It will take me a while come to acceptance with where I am, but maybe when I learn to live in the present I’ll learn to enjoy life a little more.
This card was pulled from Ravynne Phelan’s Dreams of Gaia Tarot set which comes with its own guide book since it’s a bit of a cross between a standard and oracle deck.