I’m starting this blog series in an attempt to find my way to “chill” because yo gorl has almost no chill – only now instead of that being a personality trait it’s causing hormonal fluctuations that my body doesn’t know how to process anymore which then leads to me passing out … which is no bueno. I consider myself agnostic because I’m not sure there is/are a god/s, but I’m not going to tell you they can’t possibly exist either. I do however enjoy the idea of trying out different forms of meditation to see if any of them will work for me, which brings me to my latest adventure – using tarot cards as a point of focus for meditation. Let’s see what cards I pull today, shall we?
Thirty Three – The Key
Openness
Freedom
New Doors Opening
For a while doing these meditations, sometimes it didn’t feel genuine. I was trying and I was telling myself the words that should feel right, but I didn’t necessarily believe them 100%. A couple of days ago I was looking back at part of my mental health journal from November of last year; I never really felt like I had actually made changes until I looked back at where I was. Am I where I ultimately want to be at with self care yet? Pshhhh no, but doing self care no longer feels selfish or like a chore. I made an effort to keep my mind open and try different techniques to get to a better mental health place, and now I can see that it is paying off. It may have started as a habit that didn’t always feel completely genuine, but now it does. Do I still have moments of “that’s good for other people, but I can’t possibly deserve that”? Yes, but those moments happen much less often now.
If you were ever thinking about starting a small habit of self care, this is your sign. Do it. If you have depression, it probably will seem very very silly at first, but if you keep doing it because the rational side of your brain says it’s a good habit to form, then it should pay off eventually … it just might take a year + if you’re anything like me LoL
This card was pulled from Eric Maille’s The Paper Oracle Deck with Guide Booklet.
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