I’m starting this blog series in an attempt to find my way to “chill” because yo gorl has almost no chill – only now instead of that being a personality trait it’s causing hormonal fluctuations that my body doesn’t know how to process anymore which then leads to me passing out … which is no bueno. I consider myself agnostic because I’m not sure there is/are a god/s, but I’m not going to tell you they can’t possibly exist either. I do however enjoy the idea of trying out different forms of meditation to see if any of them will work for me, which brings me to my latest adventure – using tarot cards as a point of focus for meditation. Let’s see what cards I pull today, shall we?
Two of Earth
When I pulled my card this morning I thought I would wait a while before writing my reflection. This card is about the importance of balancing mental, physical, and emotional needs. For the past month I’ve been neglectful of meeting my physical needs. Yes, I greatly improved my daily hygiene, but now I need to add back in the physical and occupational therapy on a regular basis. Now that I feel like I have a semblance of mental balance it’s time to add the physical balance back in. As I went about my day today I took note of how I was feeling mentally, emotionally, and physically — one might think mental and emotional health are the same, but they’re a bit different for me. With having depression, sometimes my emotions feel broken even though I’m making mental effort to check in and take care of daily tasks. For instance, today I woke up rather feeling apathetic about everything — emotionally this was my state of being. Mentally I knew I needed to get a couple of tasks done and would be completely ok with doing that. I also knew that I probably needed to slow down to notice things to try to ward off the apathy. On my physical check in I noticed my legs and hips were very sore from my workout yesterday, so I knew I’d want to take it relatively easy today if I didn’t want to end up taking additional medications. I completed my tasks and felt a small sense of accomplishment, then I watched a show that I knew was pretty much guaranteed to make me laugh. I had brief bouts of feelings before returning to apathy, which mentally is exactly what I had set out to do. Finding balance is difficult to do with depression, but it isn’t always completely impossible. Sometimes it is, but sometimes if I mentally challenge myself in a healthy way I occasionally find a work-around. Today was one of those days.
This card was pulled from Ravynne Phelan’s Dreams of Gaia Tarot set.