I’m starting this blog series in an attempt to find my way to “chill” because yo gorl has almost no chill – only now instead of that being a personality trait it’s causing hormonal fluctuations that my body doesn’t know how to process anymore which then leads to me passing out … which is no bueno. I consider myself agnostic because I’m not sure there is/are a god/s, but I’m not going to tell you they can’t possibly exist either. I do however enjoy the idea of trying out different forms of meditation to see if any of them will work for me, which brings me to my latest adventure – using tarot cards as a point of focus for meditation.
I have been the absolute definition of grumpy and exhausted lately. The bad news is there is no further treatment for my medical condition other than what I’ve already been doing. I’ve been diagnosed with vasodepressor syncope, and I’m basically stuck like this because I’ve already exhausted all of my options for treatment. This is as good as things are going to get, and they’re not great — which means I’ll probably never get to drive again and always have to worry about falling/passing out for the rest of my life. YAY. (sarcasm.) Also we’re apparently on the brink of WW3 except it doesn’t look like anyone is actually going to honor their treaty agreements … because we should have already honored those treaties if we were going to?????
So I guess I ask the cards today, “What do I need to hear?” Will it help me deal with how grumpy I am? Who knows? Let’s find out.
Four of Wands
I don’t know about this one peeps, this just feels off to me today, but let’s keep going to see what happens I guess. Perhaps it is here to remind me to spend time with my loved ones/closest friends and to remind me to be happy when I do have moments when I can do something. I’ve been stuck in a rather nihilistic space lately, so perhaps this is a reminder that I don’t have to live in that space. There are people in my life who support me and care, and I need to remind myself of that sometimes.
This card was pulled from Eric Maille’s The Ink Witch Tarot set.