TheBookishSock

If you’ve missed the original post, check this out first: https://victoriarmendes.wordpress.com/2020/08/30/the-worst-book-ive-read-in-2020/

Also here’s Update 1: https://victoriarmendes.wordpress.com/2020/08/31/update-1-the-worst-book-ive-read-in-2020/

The opening of Chapter D is the first time we see Editor’s Notes pop up because of the abrupt style change to something akin to Dr. Seuss (at least for the first few lines). I kinda wish the entire chapter had continued on in this manner because it was quite fun. Later on in this chapter we begin to get a bit more world building which may or may not count as social commentary after Qarl buys himself and MC a meal:

Qarl took another bite of burger. “The government taxes us by giving us coins. Shop owners set low prices so that they will receive the least amount of coins possible. We as consumers haggle up to get rid of as much as we can. That’s how it works around here.” He stuffed his face hungrily as we continued weaving through the crowds

It’s certainly an interesting way of doing things.

Later on as Qarl takes MC to the Queen they’re barred from entry to the castle because Qarl has left his security checkpoint credentials at home. It’s at this point where I started to call Qarl Karen in my mind:

The speaker crackled once more. “Speak the twister or go away.” Brenda sure was insistent. Qarl rolled his eyes and released a frustrated sigh. … but this hag …

I’m not sure if we’re supposed to start disliking Qarl here, because the way it’s written it makes me think we’re supposed to be taking Qarl’s side in all this, but Brenda just does her job and does it well and as a result is called a hag for it. Boooooo.

Ohhhhhhh boy and here comes Chapter DD; buckle up because this is where we get a massive exposition dump, boob jokes, and some “dysleqsia” jokes.

…qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnmmnbvcxzlkjhgfdsapoiuytrewq… Sorry, but that’s about what was running through my mind as I gazed in shock at the Queen. I certainly hadn’t expected the utter lack of clothing. She was a beautiful woman, to be sure, with gentle eyes, flawless skin, and just about the most perfect breasts I had ever seen. She was humanlike in most aspects of her appearance, but from the place where her nipples would have been emanated two bright points of light, like stars shining from her breasts. The Queen cast a truly regal figure as she stood poised before us, her glittering cape draping off her bare shoulders and around her wide hips.

Later there is some actual social commentary on how sex need not be tied to the amount of clothing one does or doesn’t wear — and then shoots itself in the foot because, well, you’ll see when we get there. Anyways, we then get a massive exposition dump while the characters are in the throne room about why MC was chosen. At some point Qarl starts speaking oddly and we learn about “space dysleqsia” – I’m not an own-voices reviewer here, but I was uncomfortable with how this was explained. There isn’t any real reason to call it “dysleqsia”; it could easily just be called something entirely different and work as a joke.

Who are the syoB teertskcaB?” I wondered. “Oh, Qarl may have gotten a few items backward. He’s dysleqsic,” Bobby explained. “Dysleqsia is similar to the Earth disorder dyslexia but with a few differences: it’s a rare genetic disorder unique to specific regions and results in the sufferer reading, writing, and even speaking in reverse or out of order. Qarl is able to manage it quite well, but it occasionally slips through.” … This, Your Gracious Grace, is the Earth-namuH—I mean, Earth-Human—you requested. Sorry, it’s the dysleqsia again.”

Once they’re dismissed from the throne room, Bobby explains a few more things to our MC which is where the social commentary … happens:

Secondly, unlike on Earth, the female gender isn’t as sexualized as the male gender. Therefore, a female human can go practically nude if she wishes, while it is against the law for male humans to even go topless. So don’t go taking your shirt off in public if you know what’s good for you.” He chuckled as he said this last sentence. … I was at once struck with a profound giddiness at the potential amount of female flesh I could be exposed to, but also gripped with a tense nervousness at the unaccustomed modesty regulations imposed so suddenly upon me.

I would have expected outrage or something other than just nervousness. I’m also confused as to why we start to have social commentary about laws around clothing and then just accept the juxtaposition that happens. Also this passage doesn’t even make sense later in Chapter E when we meet Madame Stringent.

And to end Chapter DD we’re introduced to some space magic, but it’s just a quick, boring explanation of what happens in Star Trek Episode 66 Wink of an Eye:

So the speeding up is what fake-adds the time, and the alteration of the brain waves is what makes us feel that the time was added?” I asked tentatively.

I think I’ll leave off here for today since I have more Autumn Essentials Readathon stuff to get to. Check back tomorrow for more updates!

If you’ve missed the original post, check this out first: https://victoriarmendes.wordpress.com/2020/08/30/the-worst-book-ive-read-in-2020/

I won’t be able to provide page markers or place markers since I read this as an EPub document with the iBooks app. I will provide direct quotes where I think it’s necessary — hopefully it will make sense. The title page of the book really made me chuckle, but I’m guessing they’ve inserted a JPEG instead of a PNG file because it doesn’t scale well on different e-readers. I also thoroughly enjoyed the publisher’s note to the reader. 

The opening of Chapter A also made me laugh a bit. Unfortunately Chapter A is also where I started to have problems because the MC starts to talk about his dad and his dad’s “whore of a girlfriend”; later in the same chapter she’s also referenced as, “a slut young enough to be my sister”. This phrase definitely fits with the MC’s disposition, but I’m really tired of reading about slut shaming. Let people bang and be happy as long as it’s consensual. We also begin to see pop culture throwbacks such as “Bedford Falls and Bomont” – a reference to small towns in the movies It’s a Wonderful Life and Footloose which I enjoyed. The Milky Way dad puns also gave me a chuckle. 

In Chapter B, Qarl begins explaining why he’s come to MC for help he explains that,

“They’re going to get rid of us, They are.”

In this case “they” is being used as a proper noun, but that’s not initially super clear to the reader. A small change to also italicizing the second “They” I think would help in this instance. As Qarl talks about the ships he’s had, he mentions a “Kate.8” which I’m fairly certain is another pop culture reference to the TV show Jon and Kate Plus 8, that is then described as being “in bad shape”. With the given context clues around that usage, I’m not a huge fan of that joke. Perhaps if a content editor could polish it a bit it could work, but it felt off to me. Later in this chapter Qarl begins to describe how he is able to change his size,

“One arm contains rubber and the other, cotton. I put on the helmet, set the dial, and voilà! I get punched or rubbed until I’m the right size.”

Ummmmmm phrasing? Oh wait that’s probably on purpose because this is where things really start to become juvenile humor instead of the satirical glory I was hoping for. Later still in Chapter B there is a sort of chase scene with a comet that just feels a little off; it should have felt intense, but instead it left me questioning the world design. Qarl’s ship requires two people to operate it when under attack, but Qarl traveled as a solo pilot to Earth to pick up the MC … so then why would Qarl need help from the MC? He’s supposed to have a fancy new ship — why would he have been given a new ship for this mission if he can’t successfully control it by himself to avoid or destroy comets?

The first note I have in Chapter C is a whole section about “The Advice Manual”. The good news is this comes in handy later; the bad news is it sticks out like a sore thumb and doesn’t feel very well incorporated into the scene where it’s presented. Next I found myself in another spot where, as the reader, I wasn’t made to care enough about the characters yet, so the fight scene felt really off:

“Qarl stood on his tiptoes and began poking his finger earnestly in my face. “Aha! That’s another thing! You don’t even properly capitalize and hyphenate words like ‘Moon-people’ when you talk.” “How the fuck can you even tell that!?!” I yelled, thoroughly exasperated. “You mean ‘fuq,’ of course. Stupid Human,” he muttered.”

This passage is kind-of funny but was a bit too on-the-nose for me because of the pacing issues — and comes up many chapters later when, again, the pacing is off. This fight scene is also where my first major gripe for this book comes from. After a “your mom” joke, MC escalates the disagreement to a physical altercation and slaps Qarl’s head off; Qarl then explains about how his head can pop off:

“Yeah, it does…if subjected to enough trauma.” He felt his head all over, as if to ensure that everything was working properly. I knew an apology was in order. “Um, I’m sorry I hit you, dude. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry.”

THIS IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE APOLOGY. Feeling anger is completely normal. Feeling emotions is healthy. What isn’t healthy is acting on anger to physically or mentally abuse someone. What isn’t acceptable is apologizing for feeling anger. An apology for physical violence is in order. I could have really used a trigger warning here. I am extra sensitive to physical and mental abuse since I’ve had to do a LOT of work with a therapist to try to process what I’ve gone through in life — and I’m not ready to unpack those life experiences on the internet just yet. I find it abhorrent that a book classified as comedy would use physical violence as a joke with no social commentary around it. I know I’ve already said that, but I’m angry about it, dang it. 

And with that, I’m going to take another break. Check back tomorrow for more updates.

I was scrolling through Reedsy hoping for a fun satire to read and lo and behold I came across How to Save a Planet by Stephen Quatro which was classified by genre as a comedy. Based on the visual and written context clues on the front cover and the very opening of the book, that’s what I was expecting; unfortunately, what I got was something that quickly devolved into poorly executed juvenile humor, and, at the end as it all turns out, the whole point to the book that our Main Character (MC) points out is that we’re supposed to have gone on a giant philosophical journey – which SPOILER ALERT (but not really because I’ll warn you when there are actual plot spoilers ahead) just doesn’t happen.

By the end of the book we’re told that the overarching theme of the book should be to discuss the “key to life”; I say “should be” here because it is not successfully done. I’m all for showcasing the chaos that is life. I’m all for having chaos featured in a book, and I understand that life is inherently chaotic. I’m currently playing a chaotic neutral wild magic sorcerer in Dungeons and Dragons and am thoroughly enjoying it. But to do something chaotic in a book and do it well, there needs to be some method to the madness to make it make some sense – otherwise I’m just sitting over here questioning, “Why am I continuing to read this confusing book? To which the answer is, “I don’t know, third base!” (that’s a reference to Abbott and Costello’s Who’s on First)

If I had to sum this book up in a few words, I would say that we’re following the story told in first person by the MC. Because of the way the “social commentary” (and I’m using quotes here to show that I’m using the term rather loosely) starts to cover nuanced topics and misses the mark EVERY. SINGLE. TIME, the MC comes off as a guy suffering from self-proclaimed-nice-guy-syndrome with repressed misogyny (particularly through objectification of women, slut shaming, and bullying) who has a temper and physically takes it out on people. Imagine a bootlegged version of The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster mixed with repressed misogyny, juvenile humor, 1960s Star Trek (specifically episode 66 Wink of an Eye), a poor rehashing of Shakespeare and Henry David Thoreau, and a privileged cis white man who is trying to be woke. That’s what my experience of this book is. That’s my synopsis.

This book has been through a copy and a line editor. I have no copy edit notes and very few line editing notes. What this book didn’t have was a content editor AND IT SHOWS. Before finishing the book and attempting to organize my notes, I reached out to the author directly on Instagram to try to give him my notes before this book was released since, according to Reedsy, the book wouldn’t be released until August 30th, 2020. As it turns out, the book has already been published, and the author did not make any confirmable commitments to at least provide the trigger warnings that this book desperately needs. On one hand I’m glad the author didn’t immediately become defensive to my criticism, but I would still like to see a commitment to either 1) pull the book from shelves and implement some content edits (which based on our brief conversation isn’t going to happen) or 2) provide trigger warnings to new potential buyers before the point of sale. I’ll insert screenshots of the conversation in my blog post and also provide a transcription of those screenshots here for you to interpret [there are minute spoilers in this section that do not spoil the overall story in this section]:

And that is where we’ve ended our conversation. For a little more context, I have NEVER experienced being triggered by a book before, and I’m a fan of Brent Weeks and have read some Mark Lawrence (though I will never return to Lawrence’s books or buy them unless he decides to make a public apology and show that he’s made some changes on how he treats people). I don’t have a problem with watching or reading Game of Thrones (GRRM). I love hard topics being covered with dark humor like in Saga by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples. What I have discovered is that I DO have a problem with domestic abuse, non-consensual drugging, and gaslighting tactics being joked about nonchalantly without there being social commentary to go with it. 

Going back to how this book is chaotic in all the wrong ways, the plot and content of the book is at best maybe an outline that still needs organized. Don’t worry, I’ll provide ample examples in a chapter by chapter breakdown. The thoughts/journal entries that are provided by MC are raw (insert Gordon Ramsey voice) – maybe half-baked if I’m being generous. There are instances where the MC tries to employ wit and humor, but because it’s half-baked these instances usually come across as bullying. I LOVE satire, dark humor, and even self deprecating humor – I use it as a coping mechanism in my own life constantly, but this book just isn’t good enough (inserts another Gordon Ramsey meme). If you’d like a fantastic combination of these for an example check out Jim Gaffigan’s “Cinnabon” routine here: https://youtu.be/fby8EIamhME

The rest of this review will provide a chapter by chapter breakdown which I’m working on writing up in about 20-30 minute blocks each day. If you want, you can catch that progress on my blog (lol you’re already here), and when I’m done with the blog post I’ll probably turn it into a video since that’s where the majority of my small following is. This is also the first time I’ve had to take long breaks between writing up a review due to my heart rate getting out of control and my watch reminding me that I haven’t moved though my heart rate is at or above 120 for over 10 minutes at a time. It’s been a very strange experience. – check back later for more updates!