My Meditation Journey | Episode 4

photo of four of air tarot card from Ravynne Phylan's Dreams of Gaia Tarot set.

I’m starting this blog series in an attempt to find my way to “chill” because yo gorl has almost no chill – only now instead of that being a personality trait it’s causing hormonal fluctuations that my body doesn’t know how to process anymore which then leads to me passing out … which is no bueno. I consider myself agnostic because I’m not sure there is/are a god/s, but I’m not going to tell you they can’t possibly exist either. I do however enjoy the idea of trying out different forms of meditation to see if any of them will work for me, which brings me to my latest adventure – using tarot cards as a point of focus for meditation. Let’s see what cards I pull today, shall we?

Four of Air


This card drawn in the present position is all about making a routine to set yourself up for success for the goals you want to accomplish. It’s about digging into yourself to see what you really want to spend your time on and evaluate why you’re using distractions if you’re not sticking to your goals.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about starting an evening routine. I’m a notorious night owl and insomniac. I’ve never experienced long term balance in my life when it comes to my sleep schedule. I’ve also never tried expressly for a decent period of time (ehhh more than a week?) to be consistent with what time I try to go to sleep, so I’m taking this as my sign to try to find a bedtime routine and try it for a month or two to see if it actually will make a difference.

I haven’t immersed myself into a bunch of peer reviewed studies, but a cursory glance at google tells me that to form a new habit that is somewhat automatic could take about 66-ish days — possibly more if it’s a difficult habit to try to form. So I guess I might start a series on trying to sleep better for at least 66 days. I do have a really nice black-out mask and headphones that I already use, but I guess now is my time to think about what else I’ll add in to the routine. I know I’ll want to leave my weekends open for wiggle room. I also know that I will need some sort of sound to fall asleep to since my brain never shuts up at night until I’m actually asleep. Talk about ruminating, am I right?

I’m weirdly afraid of going to sleep and simultaneously hate waking up. When I go to sleep I feel like I’ll miss something, but when I wake up I rarely feel rested and wish I could wake up without pain. Maybe once I stick to the new routine I might wake up rested. So, goal number one: take my evening meds at 9:30 – especially since it’s already part of my routine. Step two: face routine, brush teeth, put my hair back in a protective style to sleep in. Step three: study some note cards – because learning new hard skills usually makes me sleepy. Step four: read. Step five: put on a recorded book and the eye mask and hopefully fall asleep.

I don’t think I’m ready to give myself a hard time frame for any of those minus the medication yet since my tiredness level may change from day to day, but I think the tasks could be good. Do you have any suggestions? Leave them in the comments below ❤

This card was pulled from the Dreams of Gaia Tarot set by Ravynne Phelan – it’s sort of a hybrid oracle deck that I’ve really been enjoying. The accompanying book for this set really makes sense to my brain.

Published by Victoria Mendes

I'm just a house-wife trying to cook good meals on a budget.

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